Sandra Nankoma is a celebrated multi-award winning Ugandan Afro-soul singer, author, composer, and performer. In 2017, Nankoma was awarded Best Artist out of Africa and the Caribbean for the acclaimed Visa Pour la Creation and in 2018, she was awarded “Best Female Artiste in African Inspirational Music” in the All Africa Music Awards (AFRIMA) for her song “Kaddugala” that encourages dark skinned girls to love their skin tone and reject skin bleaching.
Convinced that music is the vehicle for social change, she engages her art in order to contribute to her society, especially to the cause of women and girls.
Nankoma shared with us her self-love journey as a dark skinned woman in this interview. Be inspired!
GLIM: What does self-love mean to you?
S.N: To me, selflove is the state of being unapologetically happy with yourself and with every flaw that comes with being yourself.
GLIM: In your opinion, how much of a woman’s happiness and success is based on her skin tone and appearance?
S.N: In my opinion the amount of success or happiness is not based on the appearance of a woman’s skin tone, however the factors involved today make it seem like a woman has to look a certain way to obtain a certain place at the table of happiness or success. If you are keen enough, you will note that all the successful women alive have made it against all odds and will tell you it was all the faith they had in themselves that put them so far ahead in life. Happiness is a choice honestly; the ability to see the good side in everything is the magic and it has nothing to do with skin. However, there are two sides of the coin. For some people of color, their skin has been their greatest test to opportunity and that’s the part where we need to change the mindset of our society.
GLIM: What has your experience been like with this misconception?
S.N: My experience with this misconception has been greatly unpleasant all through my childhood, the start of my career till today. I encounter colorism on a daily basis especially from my community which bothers me the most. Opportunities are somehow limited to certain looks and textures. You might not be told upfront but subliminally you will be told you are not good enough because you are dark skinned.
GLIM: In what ways did a lack of self-love affect your life?
S.N: The lack of self-love led me to settle for less in certain relationships because I felt the other person was doing me a favor, (can you imagine?) There was once a guy that I adored but he kept asking me to change certain things about how I looked or dressed and made comments about my big hair that I look like a ‘muyaye’. He told me if I dressed better maybe I could meet his parents. I tried to tone down and compromised my looks so he could accept me, but he still went on and ignored the transformation. That was the point I realized that if a person loves you, they should love the whole package not just the things that fit their picture of what an ideal woman should be. They should love the flaws; therefore, never compromise who you are for someone else.
GLIM: What was the turning point for you to work towards self-acceptance and love?
S.N: The discovery of knowledge about who I am was my turning point to self-love. When you know who you are, the beauty you possess both in and out including your mind, then you take your power back. Being a long term victim of bullying helped me develop a thick skin, to the extent that I became numb to the stereotypical statements that were thrown at me, because every time I looked in the mirror, I saw this gorgeous human being! I decided then to fight back with knowledge. Being ignorant is a sin and the only way you can fight back is knowing better than the oppressor with supporting evidence. Most of these bullies, I’m sorry to say, were stupid! They didn’t know why they picked on me and why they concluded dark skin was ugly! They couldn’t support their arguments. In the end they looked stupid because I defended my skin with all I knew and is the truth till this day. I remember a close friend of mine once asked me to bleach, since in their opinion, it would open more doors for my talent. That was the last we spoke because like minds move together and she didn’t cut it for my clan.
GLIM: What strategies did you implement on this journey?
S.N: Keeping the right company around me and focusing on my purpose so the universe can reward my hard work, encouraging and empowering as many brown skin humans as possible through my music and ‘Kaddugala’ projects and also, setting the example of ‘possible’.
GLIM: What are some of the challenges you faced on this journey? How did you overcome them?
S.N: First, I am a woman (ha-ha), secondly not light skinned! I have lost many opportunities in the name of you don’t cut it for us, but I don’t let that define my potential. The more rejection I get, the harder I work.
Sexual harassment because some of the stakeholders labeled women especially dark-skinned as sex objects, a way to fulfill their sexual fantasies. Have you heard of the statement, the darker the berry? I have faced that a lot. Some would ask sexual favors in exchange for an opportunity.
I have also experienced bullying from media and industry peers, exploitation in terms of payment, color versus the cheque, among other things.
The self-esteem tests increase on a regular, but I choose to speak positivity on the days when I feel low.
GLIM: Self-love is a continuous journey. What are some of the strategies you implement to ensure you stay connected and love yourself?
S.N: a. Exercise
b. Eat healthy
c. I say my self-love quotes mantras every morning
d. Self-care Sundays; I engage in a beauty routine and take care of my skin in its natural tone and glory
e. Lastly, I read a lot and I am always seeking knowledge in every form.
GLIM: It is easy to lose track, how do you keep momentum?
S.N: I maintain momentum by keeping the right company, with a good realm of energy around me.
